It’s been a week since I started my new phase of life. The decision to make a huge move forward for those I care about deeply was remarkably simple to make, however the reality of taking these steps is proving to be much harder than the decision making! The decision was based on what was the right thing to do and what will make us individually and collectively the happiest, plus a deep sense that certain times in our lives don’t get to repeat!
The gory hard labour of packing up, moving continents, the deep worries around health and Covid 19 consume energies in ways that are unimaginable. Moving from light and warmth to rain and driving wind and from a world of activity where I thrived to one which is unfamiliar reminds me of my very core, tests my resilience and is very revealing of character.
As I spend my days taking time to really think, read, exercise and spend time with my family and close friends whilst taking deeper care of loved ones, I feel privileged to be able to intensify my mentoring sessions and wanted to share some underlying themes and questions that seem to resonate with many. My time mentoring is a constant theme that I will continue writing about as I move forward.
My mutual mentoring sessions are totally inclusive of age, gender, colour, creed, cast, sexuality and physical plus cranial abilities – colleagues, friends, new contacts reaching out to discuss big decisions, crossroads, perceived failures, how to negotiate better etc. We discuss, really listen to each other and help each other navigate the world in which we live, whilst addressing various underlying issues we confront on a regular basis in our personal and professional lives.
In this blog, I bring forth one of the most frequently discussed topics in my sessions – the failure factor – the fear of failure, creating an aversion to risk or intense problem solving.
The Failure Factor
Everyone fails – all of us, even people who think they are super humans! In the recent past, I have read about so many people – politicians, environmentalists, sportspersons, business people, inventors, scientists – and their superhuman success stories. But I also think about the struggle behind their successes – how many challenges did they overcome? How many times did they embrace failure and march on nevertheless? How did they motivate themselves? How did they not let failure pull them down?
Failure can be a defining moment that could lead to one our biggest successes. I know several people who have post-its to remind themselves each day:
I have also had several idols who have inspired me with their perseverance, determination and the ability to look failure in the eye several times and rise back up fearlessly! A great example of this is Fridtjof Nansen – an explorer, a scientist, a diplomat, an inventor, a lifelong learner and a humanitarian who led a group of five people, over 40 days and 650 km to ski across Greenland, crossing peaks up to 2700m high. Last year, tennis icon and star Andy Murray announced that he may be retiring owing to hip injury but he’s back now, active as ever and showing us that he can still compete at the highest levels. I’ve also written about a couple of more tennis icons who have inspired me with their ‘never give up’ attitude.
Looking back, scientist and two-time Nobel Prize winner Marie Curie and Renaissance man Leonardo Da Vinci, revered for his technical ingenuity braved many failures before they were recognised and rewarded for their discoveries and inventions – the discovery of two new elements – Radium and Polonium by her and conceptualization of flying machines, a type of armoured fighting vehicle, concentrated solar power, an adding machine and the double hull by Leo.
My personal take on failure is simple and quite inspired by Wayne Gretzky’s quote:
My best learnings and experiences with failure and eventual success were when we started a new IBM business from scratch – the Watson IoT Business and Industry Centre in Munich. The premise of working like a start-up was to ‘fail fast, learn fast’ – to iterate, build MVPs, make mistakes, fail, learn, repeat! We had such fun and it worked – amazing growth and thousands of new clients.
Whenever I begin a new project, opportunity or set out to experience something new, I ask myself the following 5 questions. This equips me with the right mentality and enables me to approach any challenge objectively, with every doubt and loophole addressed.
1. What will failure and success look like in this situation? – Obviously, success is the preferred outcome, but brace yourself to face failure too and assess and determine what your next step would be.
2. What’s the worst and best that can happen with this scenario? – In my opinion, this is a key step, more important than step #1. What do you gain if you succeed? What do you stand to lose if you fail? Will you start over? What do you need to start over?
3. What should I think, feel and do to affect the most positive outcome? – Most success and failure stories have a lot to do with ‘attitude’- a ‘can-do’ and ‘will never give up’ attitude. Reining in all the positive energy, thoughts and actions can have a remarkable effect on the outcome which ultimately should lead to happiness – as a state of being.
4.Is the outcome centred only around my attitude towards the challenge or aptitude and learning new skills too? – While developing a positive, can-do attitude is important and definitely an enabler, but ensuring we have the right skills needed for the job is more, if not equally important
5. Whose opinions are you really worrying about? – Finally, who are you doing this for and why? If your actions address this, you don’t really have to worry about please or appeasing anyone else in the world. Too many opinions do spoil the plan of action!
In my next blog, continuing this series on how to embrace failure and learn from it, I will be talking about the attitude of ‘Challenging the status quo – how rebelling, with the right attitude, backed by positive intentions, at work can actually be a good thing. #PositiveRebellion
