Further to my Part 1 blog, I have received so many messages, calls and advice from around the globe. I would like to share some of my learnings from the discussions I’ve had, as I think it is critically important for the lives and wellbeing of individuals, families and our communities as a whole.
To those who reached out, your suggestions, resources and inputs have given me a deeper understanding of the challenges faced by abuse victims – and a growing passion to help. Thank you again for taking the time to share your deep insights and sentiments, they are very important and needed at this time!
The problem worsens: There is a rise in domestic violence given the global COVID pandemic, resulting in enforced lockdowns and greater time at home for many – and an urgent need to respond and act for victims in these situations.
As a backdrop, the underlying issues of women in society and women’s rights are circulating.
Let’s Come Back to the Death of Feminism issue…
The expectations on women are amplified at this time, with many forced to take a step back from their careers to assume the roles of mum, wife, teacher or caregiver. With this in mind, many are asking whether Feminism is taking a turn for the worst? In my humble opinion, it’s too early to call! I am seeing a strong resistance to the above scenarios and great stridency from young women in my circle – including our own daughter and many of my mutual mentees…more on this to come. Even so, I think there are much more important issues escalating at this time as we write, listen and exchange…
More lockdown causing tension in the home is leading to greater violence…
In tandem with the global health crisis a ‘shadow pandemic’ is on the rise (UN Women, 2020). As mentioned by UK Home Secretary Priti Patel, there has been a 25% increase in calls to domestic violence helplines and an urgent need for hotel groups to make rooms available for “pop up refuges” (The Times, UK). In Asia, gender disparity in household labour has tripled the amount of domestic work for women in some instances, resulting in an increased threat of physical violence (DW, 2020).
Restated Trauma….
As many of you shared, women and their children are needing to leave their family lockdown and domestic unit. Controlling behaviour has become violent, healthy boundaries are transgressed, and repeated brutality has forced fight and flight syndrome, resulting in outrage and fear. For so many, these issues extend beyond trauma where attempts at any form of reconciliation or collaboration have failed and now a truly safe refuge is the only solution. Domestic abuse survivor, Jessica Bowes spoke about her experiences in her ‘The Late Late Show’ interview this weekend. Stories of fierce women who have courageously fought such circumstances can also be seen in The Global Fund for Women campaign below.
What can we do?
Last week, Victoria Derbyshire presented BBC News with the telephone number for the National Domestic Abuse Helpline written on her hand. In India, the Women Entrepreneurs For Transformation (WEFT) Foundation launched the “Red Dot” initiative under which people can identify a domestic violence victim by seeing a red dot on her palm and inform NGOs or authorities (Press Trust of India), and in several countries emergency WhatsApp numbers have been created for the secret reporting of domestic violence cases. We are seeing further responses on social media, with codewords and chain messages being shared to show support. What does this say to us? We need to use our voice to help women who may not have one and are stuck in violent situations at this time.
For those of us who can…
Volunteer to support refuges, get training as I am doing to be a voice of care and action on the phones around the world. Women need you and at this time! Women like Gilly Chapell and other men like Brian Fox (who wrote the compelling ‘Why Don’t They Just Leave’), are here to help through their great advice and learnings.
Call to action…
As I reflect on the many inputs received and attempt to represent the true array and diversity of issues we are experiencing across cultures and countries at this time, I am seeking your valuable advice, sentiments and support here. Those with direct experience, please step in and reach out to me personally.
I’m calling on us all – connect with your friends, other strong supportive family members, GPs, Community Doctors, the Police and Domestic Violence / Women’s associations who are all attuned to this suffering and ready to act!
“The more that we choose not to talk about domestic violence, the more we shy away from the issue, the more we lose,” Russell Wilson.
Thank you for reading and doing what you can to make the world a safer, better place for women at this time.
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Links to articles and resources of reference (in order of appearance)
UN Women, 2020. ‘Infographic: The Shadow Pandemic – Violence Against Women and Girls and COVID-19.’
The Times, UK, 2020. ‘Let domestic violence victims stay in hotels during coronavirus lockdown, say MPs.’
DW, 2020. ‘Domestic violence rises amid coronavirus lockdowns in Asia.’
Global Fund for Women, 2020. ‘Fierce – 8 quotes for International Womens Day.’
Press Trust of India, 2020. ‘Using a “Red Dot”, Women Report Domestic Violence Cases Amind Lockdown’
Good Housekeeping, UK, 2020. ‘Victoria Derbyshire presented BBC News with helpline number on her hand.’